poems & Writing
2 minutes of our time is what they asked from us
and as I closed my eyes and crossed my arms I began to wonder
not of the soldiers who died but of the people in the room all around me. I wonder if they to were pretending to think or if they were wondering about
lunch or all the other kids.
It occurred to me that maybe they were thinking like me and
were wondering about the same thing.
I thought about all the times I had seen you and how I had felt.
I thought about the way my heart pumped the blood to my cheeks
and I thought about that fluttering in my throat that never let me speak.
I wondered about you and if you felt the same if your heart beat the way mine
did and if you’d picture me sleeping with you
our bodies collided in a tangled up mess.
Will you ever see me differently?
Will I ever be that girl,
the one who will change your heart,
the one who you’ll tell your children about.
I thought about you,
about all the things you had probably done.
I thought about me,
and my lack of everything
and it surprised me how’d we come it meet.
Days pass and I feel so incredible lost, it’s there though that I find you deep in thought isolated from it all, a world swiftly drifting apart
The T.V illuminated a blue light around the dark room, and students whispered confusion hinted in their voice as the movie switched between scenes, and you smiled lightly because you knew the movie all to well and remembered the confusion you too once felt. Your eyes flickered around the room and then there were mine, and we secretly shared that brief moment that seemed like forever.
It was late cause the time had changed and winter made everything dark and grey. The heavy metal doors drowned out the screeching of singers and on the opposite side of the hall you stood, your back against the wall. My shoes made that squeaking rubber sound and you looked from your train of thought. A small smile formed of your mouth.
“Are you enjoying the music?” You asked an honest curiosity in your voice.
“Yea it’s … interesting” I said unsure how to some up the experience.
“Are you going to sing?” You asked motioning toward the door.
I violently shook my head “I’m not really a singer just an observer.”
“Why’d you come?” You asked clearly glad I had.
“I wanted to hear you.”
Writing is odd,
somedays you can’t stop and your pen scribbles on,
other days your stuck.. lost for words.
But it’s a beautiful thing when you get it all out
and once you do; you tend to feel odd.
Your particularly odd,
and maybe that’s my fascination with you.
Perhaps it’s your sly smile that appears on your face
and those pretty eyes that I get lost in.
Maybe it’s the fact that i’ve never really spoken to you before
and I like the mystery of that all.
Or maybe it’s because I can’t have you;
that i’m not suppose to want you.
Because lets face it i’m younger and your much older,
so it’s wrong to those,
but not to me.
You have an attitude as cold as Alaska, and a heart like Iceland.
You enjoy old movies, and broken down books.
Your a photographer of hidden things not seen by the naked eye, and your a lover not a fighter but if you had to you’d fight the battles for those you love.
An it’s because of this that i’ve fallen for you..if only it wasn’t this hard.
You laid beside me,
and I could feel your warmth radiating off your body.
You stayed there stiff,
contemplating right and wrong,
and I could tell when you made up your mind;
you slid your hand into mine.
I guess I could tell you that i’m love struck and sick,
but then you wouldn’t be able to wonder when we kiss.
I don’t remember when it started and I guess it doesn’t matter.
I was younger though and you well not so much.
You smiled at me and told me stories of a world much more grand then thee,
and soon I became lost in your sea green eyes,
that swung me to sleep.
I wonder sometimes if you were ever there,
sometimes I think I made you up inside my head.
You asked me if I saw the world,
at the time I thought you were trying to be funny.
I told you I had eyes so indeed I could see.
You laughed at me,
and sometimes it still rings sending me shivers and the reminder to see.
An I looked at you and smiled big and bright because it was the last one I could muster before I died. I didn’t want you to cry or fear the way I died.
-
You said you loved me and your smile grew. I held my head high and told you with my eyes all the questions and fears inside.
I sat in the chruch and started to wonder why?
Why we cried and feared the end of life,
and why dont we welcome it,
the progression of time.
It’s odd because I have never felt the things I do when I see you.
An I don’t no exactly what i’m suppose to do.
I’m limited and confused.
It doesn’t help though when I look at you and see your eye’s pouring into mine.
Every feeling you hide a clear reflection of mine.
It was late,
and we couldn’t sleep
because our time was so unfairly limited,
and we dreaded reality so we sticked to staying in saftey;
in the warmth of your building complex.
An that time spent was always the best,
because I remembered your soft warm voice
and your electric feel
on the days you felt farthest away.
We sat laying in the sun feeling the heat;
a burning sensation that left our mouth dry.
You turned to me your hand blocking the suns rays that blinded your pretty blue eyes,
your teeth shone white and I squeezed your hand tight.
The air around us froze,
your breath coming out as smoke and you smiled at me,
because you didn’t know what to say;
as the silence filled the space between us.
It should of felt wrong,
but I had never felt anything that seemed so right.
An as we sat there in the night sky,
the bench frozen beneath us,
we looked up at the skyscraping moutains with it’s skiers in toe,
and wondered how we had gotten our selves into this mess.
Let it go the guilt of a new day,
forget what they want
let desire take you over;
warmth with love.
Give your self up,
write the things you want,
explore your mind to it’s darkest corners.
but don’t show me!
I don’t want to know;
the sadness in your eyes deny you freedom,
disturbing is what you are.
Why do you do this to me?
Don’t you see I can’t,
that I’m struggling to hold my self together,
every time we talk.
Humble glances in empty hallowed halls
the sound of foot steps entering my heart.
Behind closed doors of lessoned rooms
muted voice of glass.
Steal a look at me,
your all I want to see,
turn your head once more i’ll be waiting at your door.
I wont tell them,
and the world never needs to know. We can hide here a smile;
just like old times use to be.
And there your smell lingered on the things that use to be;
cheap whisky and tattered old books,
the only reminder that you were ever real.
Jealousy is a terrible thing,
it can turn you green with envy,
it can shallow you whole and leave you empty.
Jealousy is the core to our dismiss,
that feeds on our failures and lies.
Jealousy is the never ending rage inside.
Hidden smiles, and stolen glances.
I know it’s different that yours don’t hold the same meaning.
I know they never can,
cause were wrong for each other in the eyes of those who see.
I can’t make you love me, and you can’t make your heart change.
Snow flakes cover your lashes,
your lips frostbitten;
breath frozen in mid air.
I reach you,
breath held afraid of what might come out.
Your questioning eyes linger on mine.
Silence filling the space between us.
Are you able to tell, that i’m not just looking for help.
Alternative motives sketched on the blue prints of my mind.
Close to the edge of a never ending line,
catch me i’m falling into the sky,
a dark hole traveling done my spin.
Your different and this is new to me,
foreign land I haven’t quiet seen.
Is it new for you 2?
you 2?
Are you scared of me the way I am of you?
Uncertainty and judgement clouding my mind.
You’ve changed me in the little things you’ve done,
Its because of you that i’m strong.
Now that your gone I see the way you did.
A dream within a dream.
That day ended, and the sun soon faded
and somewhere in between;
fiery light slit upon your face,
your smile shone a thousand times brighter then every light in the sky. One moment blind sided follow me now,
would you really run out.
I want you, nothing else
and I want to know how it feels when your holding me.
I want to pretend it’s ok,
that you love me and
feel the same way.
I’m not suppose to feel the way I do,
no; not with you,
but your not suppose to look at me the way that you do
and yet there’s something so right about the way in which we do,
I found love darling and its here with you.
Someday seems far away
in the morning ill call you,
will you be awake?
Damp dark love, as sweet as it comes.
Hides it self at the bottom of your heart.
Rids you of the pain you see,
the enemies you make and the things that use to be.
The eye see’s all,
but is it right or wrong?
Are we good or bad, or just simply stuck in the fog?
Black and white or grey all over,
the eye see’s all it’s never done.
You saved me and time stood still.
A moment captured, a photograph to hold on to.
You folded corners and kept me close to your heart,
a promise to never leave me.
Are you strong enough?
Your arms wide open, you saved me.
I tried to talk to you, you said we were still friends.
You have trouble sleeping, I’ve always been a dreamer.
And I don’t want to hurt you;
not anymore
Doesn’t matter if i’m wrong,
or now that your gone.
Doesn’t matter if I cry,
cause you’ve made up your mind.
But i’m asking you to try.
Slow down; your making time run.
I don’t want you to go. Stay this night?
Forget the consequence, the nagging guilt of secrets.
Time is running out. Stay this night.
Let me kiss you, sooth your worry.
We can make time stand still.
Hold me, I’ll never let you go.
Tell me you love me, and time will stand still.
Is this the life you had planned? Is it everything you wanted, or is all pretend.
We humans are rushed beings, we progress and move forward so quickly that we tend to forget the things we leave behind. The kind gesture of a stranger, the color of the sky just as the sun sets, the smell of nature after a rainstorm. Our memories can’t do us justice and in the rushing state of today’s society there is no time to remember. So instead we forget, because that hurts less then remembering; then trying to hold on to the vague memories that once were but now never can be. All this in a disappearing world.
You are the most unusually perplex girl I have ever met.
With your toe nails painted blue, and all your made up rules.
You taught me to smile.
Do you remember that?
Your lips curved into mine; your imprint always a reminder.
Soft as a whisper your voice in my ear;
reading to me your greatest fears.
Sometimes I catch your scent familiar, and safe.
It scares me that I feel this way;
unsure, what to do now that your dead.
As they sat there in the warmth of the cars heating; protected from the thrashing rain in the outside world, a thought occurred to them. That the world seemed perfect but only remotely human. In that moment it was as if all there troubles melted away, and it was just the two of them sitting still and insignificantly unimportant.
